Post by The Chloe on Jan 4, 2003 16:36:27 GMT -5
sports.yahoo.com/ten/news/cnnsi/20030103/2003willbeveryp.html
2003 will be very predictable
Jon Wertheim, Sports Illustrated
The players thought it was too short and the fans thought it was too long. But tennis' offseason is over, and both tours are back in full swing. Here it is the first days of 2003, and from the Hopman Cup to the Tata Open (a men's tournament, funny enough) the results from a half-dozen different pro events are clogging up the agate section. Before the first Slam is upon us, herewith are 15 tennis-related predictions guaranteed to come to pass (possibly) by year's end.
By the end of 2003 ...
1. The ATP Champions Race winner will be:
A) Lleyton Hewitt.
B) Marat Safin.
C) Juan Carlos Ferrero.
D) Andy Roddick.
2. The top-ranked WTA player will be:
A) Serena Williams.
B) Venus Williams.
C) Jennifer Capriati.
D) Daniela Hantuchova.
3. This player will have won his first major:
A) Andy Roddick.
B) Tommy Haas.
C) Juan Carlos Ferrero.
D) Phil Mickelson.
4. This player will have won her first Slam:
A) Kim Clijsters.
B) Amelie Mauresmo.
C) Daniela Hantuchova.
D) Simonya Popova.
5. A retirement ceremony will be held for this former Grand Slam champ:
A) Pete Sampras.
B) Michael Chang.
C) Pat Rafter.
D) Yevgeny Kafelnikov.
E) Thomas Johansson.
F) Goran Ivanisevic.
G) All of the above.
6. This player will retire from the women's tour:
A) Monica Seles.
B) Martina Hingis.
C) Venus Williams.
D) Lindsay Davenport.
7. This player will become a household name (in households in addition to his/her own):
A) Richard Gasquet.
B) Elena Bovina.
C) Vera Zvonareva.
D) Mikhail Youzhny.
E) All of the above.
8. The Davis Cup winner will be:
A) France.
B) Argentina.
C) Russia, again.
D) United States.
9. Carmela Soprano will be:
A) In Naples with Furio, having divorced Tony and wearied of Meadow, who used to be so winsome and is now indescribably annoying.
B) Using that $40,000 she hoarded to go to Rutgers Law School, with an eye toward prosecuting organized-crime figures.
C) Working in the marketing department of the WTA Tour, trying to get GQ to photograph assorted players posing at The Bing.
D) Reconciled with Tony, having reached the conclusion that willful blindness = gold card.
10. This celebrity couple will announce an engagement:
A) Lleyton Hewitt and Kim Clijsters.
B) Andy Roddick and Mandy Moore.
C) Jelena Dokic and that race-car driver guy.
D) Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias.
E) None of the above.
11. The ATP Tour will have solved its financial woes by:
A) Investing in the high-flying stock that is AOL.
B) Convincing Lleyton Hewitt to forego prize money in exchange for waiving all interview obligations.
C) Slashing prize money while signing lucrative television and rights contracts in Europe and Asia.
D) Figuring out a way to funnel the USTA's budget for truffles toward ATP operating expenses.
12. The WTA Tour will have solved its financial woes by:
A) Exercising those valuable Lucy.com options.
B) Signing Global Crossings as a title sponsor.
C) Negotiating a bridge loan from Richard Williams.
D) Finding support from a range of companies at various levels, none large enough to be a title sponsor.
13. The Tennis Channel will:
A) Still be debating the "perfect launch date."
B) Be syndicating The Damir Dokic Hour worldwide.
C) Supplant The Sopranos in cable ratings with breathtaking coverage of a Jill Craybas-Nadia Petrova Monday-afternoon match from Amelia Island.
D) Bleed money but evince guarded optimism with impressive viewership numbers and production value.
14. Tennis administrators seriously will be considering:
A) Introducing instant replay to review line calls.
B) Merging tours and creating the equivalent of two leagues (a men's and women's) under the same aegis.
C) Enforcing a lifetime ban for players caught using performing-enhancing drugs.
D) Curbing racket technology.
15. Anna Kournikova will:
A) Face the Paula Jones-Jenny McCarthy winner on Celebrity Boxing.
B) Marry Enrique Iglesias on the condition that it fulfills a WTA Tour Aces requirement.
C) Perhaps win an inconsequential tournament but, more important, restore some credibility by making a deep run at a Grand Slam.
D) Quit tennis to write a guide book about luxury hotels in the Twin Cities.
My answers:
1. B
2. A
3. C
4. A
5. G
6. B
7. E
8. B
9. D
10. E
11. C
12. D
13. D
14. B
15. C
2003 will be very predictable
Jon Wertheim, Sports Illustrated
The players thought it was too short and the fans thought it was too long. But tennis' offseason is over, and both tours are back in full swing. Here it is the first days of 2003, and from the Hopman Cup to the Tata Open (a men's tournament, funny enough) the results from a half-dozen different pro events are clogging up the agate section. Before the first Slam is upon us, herewith are 15 tennis-related predictions guaranteed to come to pass (possibly) by year's end.
By the end of 2003 ...
1. The ATP Champions Race winner will be:
A) Lleyton Hewitt.
B) Marat Safin.
C) Juan Carlos Ferrero.
D) Andy Roddick.
2. The top-ranked WTA player will be:
A) Serena Williams.
B) Venus Williams.
C) Jennifer Capriati.
D) Daniela Hantuchova.
3. This player will have won his first major:
A) Andy Roddick.
B) Tommy Haas.
C) Juan Carlos Ferrero.
D) Phil Mickelson.
4. This player will have won her first Slam:
A) Kim Clijsters.
B) Amelie Mauresmo.
C) Daniela Hantuchova.
D) Simonya Popova.
5. A retirement ceremony will be held for this former Grand Slam champ:
A) Pete Sampras.
B) Michael Chang.
C) Pat Rafter.
D) Yevgeny Kafelnikov.
E) Thomas Johansson.
F) Goran Ivanisevic.
G) All of the above.
6. This player will retire from the women's tour:
A) Monica Seles.
B) Martina Hingis.
C) Venus Williams.
D) Lindsay Davenport.
7. This player will become a household name (in households in addition to his/her own):
A) Richard Gasquet.
B) Elena Bovina.
C) Vera Zvonareva.
D) Mikhail Youzhny.
E) All of the above.
8. The Davis Cup winner will be:
A) France.
B) Argentina.
C) Russia, again.
D) United States.
9. Carmela Soprano will be:
A) In Naples with Furio, having divorced Tony and wearied of Meadow, who used to be so winsome and is now indescribably annoying.
B) Using that $40,000 she hoarded to go to Rutgers Law School, with an eye toward prosecuting organized-crime figures.
C) Working in the marketing department of the WTA Tour, trying to get GQ to photograph assorted players posing at The Bing.
D) Reconciled with Tony, having reached the conclusion that willful blindness = gold card.
10. This celebrity couple will announce an engagement:
A) Lleyton Hewitt and Kim Clijsters.
B) Andy Roddick and Mandy Moore.
C) Jelena Dokic and that race-car driver guy.
D) Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias.
E) None of the above.
11. The ATP Tour will have solved its financial woes by:
A) Investing in the high-flying stock that is AOL.
B) Convincing Lleyton Hewitt to forego prize money in exchange for waiving all interview obligations.
C) Slashing prize money while signing lucrative television and rights contracts in Europe and Asia.
D) Figuring out a way to funnel the USTA's budget for truffles toward ATP operating expenses.
12. The WTA Tour will have solved its financial woes by:
A) Exercising those valuable Lucy.com options.
B) Signing Global Crossings as a title sponsor.
C) Negotiating a bridge loan from Richard Williams.
D) Finding support from a range of companies at various levels, none large enough to be a title sponsor.
13. The Tennis Channel will:
A) Still be debating the "perfect launch date."
B) Be syndicating The Damir Dokic Hour worldwide.
C) Supplant The Sopranos in cable ratings with breathtaking coverage of a Jill Craybas-Nadia Petrova Monday-afternoon match from Amelia Island.
D) Bleed money but evince guarded optimism with impressive viewership numbers and production value.
14. Tennis administrators seriously will be considering:
A) Introducing instant replay to review line calls.
B) Merging tours and creating the equivalent of two leagues (a men's and women's) under the same aegis.
C) Enforcing a lifetime ban for players caught using performing-enhancing drugs.
D) Curbing racket technology.
15. Anna Kournikova will:
A) Face the Paula Jones-Jenny McCarthy winner on Celebrity Boxing.
B) Marry Enrique Iglesias on the condition that it fulfills a WTA Tour Aces requirement.
C) Perhaps win an inconsequential tournament but, more important, restore some credibility by making a deep run at a Grand Slam.
D) Quit tennis to write a guide book about luxury hotels in the Twin Cities.
My answers:
1. B
2. A
3. C
4. A
5. G
6. B
7. E
8. B
9. D
10. E
11. C
12. D
13. D
14. B
15. C
;D
