Hatin' on the Masters

[DBBN]

So many handsome golfers these days! I must be getting old and Southern.

Appleby in his blue shirt
Luke Donald!
Zach Johnson

I think I've made this post before but oh well

El Tigre is losing it...

[Maeby Fünke]

Golf is almost as boring as baseball.

[DBBN]

ZACK ATTACK

Tigre

[DBBN]

Of course everyone is using the headline "Zach Attack"

It was the band on "Saved By the Bell," after all.

[janie]

hurley said:

ZACK ATTACK

Tigre

Too bad I heard (from tomo on Sid's board; don't know if it's true) that Zach brought up Jesus in his post-match comments. Glad I missed that, if it's true. Why do athletes think Jesus wants THEM to win, as opposed to their opponent? Is the opponent a friend of satan, then, that Jesus is excited to conquer? ew

[janie]

Ick, it's true.

"Being Easter, Jesus was with me every step of the way. I felt Him,'' Johnson said.

So I guess Jesus got tired of Tiger hogging those ugly green jackets, just like we did. Still glad to have a surprise winner anyway.

[DBBN]

Yeahhhhhhhh I was going to mention him being Jesusy. Seems to happen a lot on the Tour, though...I remember Aaron Baddeley winning some event last year on Easter and he got all Jesusy about it as well. And he's Australian! Very weird. He was also crying and cheering for Zach Attack behind Mrs. Attack and Baby Attack after ZA's round was over, and they're apparently BFF, so they must have Jesus Camp fun together or whatever.

Also, he is less with his hat off. But that's a common affliction amongst golfers.

Still, Zach Attack winning >>>>>>>>>>>> Tigre winning

[sasha]

Grar, I hate God boys. At least Zach was only like a .2 on the PierceChang scale, though.

I'm glad to see Tiger lose like that once in a while.

[janie]

hurley said:

Yeahhhhhhhh I was going to mention him being Jesusy. Seems to happen a lot on the Tour, though...

A British newspaper web site last year had an article about some big (Christian) prayer group that most of the top players participate in. And those players try to convert others to join. Naturally, no US news agencies would pick up a story like that. It was creepy; if I can find it ever, maybe I'll post it here.

[DBBN]

Interesting. Also, if they're Fundamentalists, they have to witness, so...I mean, lots of Midwesterners (like Zach Attack) golfing. Makes sense.

[janie]

found it! ew ew ew, but :lmao:

What Would Jesus Do? Maybe take a few tips from Tom Lehman
Born-again Christian, Tom Lehman, and his devout followers are happy to have God on their side.

Marina Hyde

September 23, 2006 2:01 AM

Tom Lehman, as Sam Torrance famously remarked at another Ryder Cup, calls himself a man of God.

It was the American's part in his countrymen's enchanting victory charge across the 17th green at Brookline in 1999 that prompted Torrance to wonder out loud about the extent to which he had permitted his Christian values to reach into his golf game, and seven years on, with Lehman now US captain, focus on the role the Almighty plays in his team seems more apposite than ever.

While one would hesitate to describe Tom Lehman's politics as opaque - he has referred to Bill Clinton as "that draft-dodging baby-killer" - his spiritual leanings are clearer still. As Sports Illustrated recently noted, "there's a religious undercurrent to this US team", a judgment arguably on a par with the observation that the Pope is Catholic.

There aren't any Papists on this year's US side, of course. The likes of Stewart Cink and Scott Verplank - both captain's picks, incidentally - are very much Christians of the born-again variety in a team that travelled to County Kildare with an official chaplain. This minister, Larry Moody, is both the PGA Tour chaplain and president of Search Ministries, which he describes enticingly as "a parachurch organisation that assists adults in the process of lifestyle evangelism".

One such fortunate adult is Team US vice-captain Loren Roberts, whom Larry baptised 13 years ago, in the swimming pool at Disneyworld's Polynesian Resort - an image which reminds us that evangelism has a way to go in the ritual pageantry stakes before it can measure up to, say, Russian Orthodoxy. As for Lehman's other vice-captain, exchange the sign of peace with Corey Pavin, who was born Jewish but became a born-again Christian in 1991.

So, everyone seems to be singing off the same hymnsheet - though not literally, as Lehman was at pains to stress when asked earlier this week if the team held regular prayer meetings.

"There's guys of faith who are in our group," he conceded, "but we're not holding Sunday school. We're not singing hymns and things like that."

It's fair to say, however, that this stalwart of tour Bible study groups has not felt moved to stay his hand entirely on faith-based captaincy. He has commissioned the former Ryder Cup captain Byron Nelson - who has since followed Jesus into the carpentry business - to create a wooden keepsake for each player, carved with a verse from Psalm 18 relating to the battle of David and Goliath.

"With your help I can advance against a troop," reads this item, which Tiger Woods may or may not be bothering to carry round in his pocket. "With my God I can scale a wall."

To underline his decision to secure divine backing for the US challenge, Lehman has been spotted this week wearing a bracelet emblazoned with the letters WWJD, which Godless readers may care to know stands for "What Would Jesus Do?" What indeed? You'd like to think he'd have been a little more restrained on the 17th at Brookline, but suspect he'd have succumbed to a rare flash of that temper of his had he run into Brett Wetterich yesterday. It's tricky to second-guess the mind of God.

Though not for Lehman, it seems. "God has definitely used golf in a great way over the last several years," he opined recently, and there's something madly reassuring about that "definitely". While the rest of us wrestle with questions such as "How can a benevolent God permit the existence of the Sherlock Holmes outfits the US team wore on arrival in Ireland?" it takes a captain to state as fact that the architect of the universe is able to telegraph his plans for humanity via the medium of the PGA Tour.

But then, Lehman has an eye for a story arc. Consider his verdict on his own professional journey, which he makes a feature of his public speaking engagements for organisations such as Youth for Christ. "I went from doing things for God's glory and trying to be His kind of guy," he explains, "to trying to make money and be successful, just for myself. It took my being knocked way down to realise that God wanted me to be His man."

It would be the height of churlishness, of course, as his team's caddies lug the fish-symbol-bedecked bags around the K Club this weekend, to recall the reaction of the renowned commentator Henry Longhurst to a victory speech in which an American golfer declared that God had helped him on every shot. It was a shame, Longhurst mused, that God didn't have anything better to do with his time.

[Edna Krabappel]

Geez, and I thought religious extremism is on the rise here. You'd never hear stuff like that in these parts.

[DBBN]

joana said:

Geez, and I thought religious extremism is on the rise here. You'd never hear stuff like that in these parts.

Watch last year's Oscar-nominated documentary "Jesus Camp." It'll blow your mind.

I live with a born-again Baptist. No matter how many times I try to explain this to him, he still doesn't understand that I didn't select my sexuality. "But, couldn't you be straight if you wanted to?" Well, yes, I could, and then kill myself and take down 24 people with me

He also thinks the Ten Commandments are in the Constitution

[janie]

Was he baptized in a Disney World pool, too?

[DBBN]

Probably.

I mean, we don't talk about it much, but I know he was saved at a relatively late age, because he was involved in deviant behavior and wanted to turn things around, which is more acceptable to me than the typical example in Middle America, which is to brainwash your pre-K child into thinking they need saving without even knowing what sin is. At least my roommate saw he wanted to turn things around and did something about it, even though his current behavior, though definitely better than his past behavior, can be decidedly un-Christian at times. (But what else is new for the right-wingers, right? )

What bugs me is the proselytizing. I don't care what YOU do or what YOU believe, but let other people figure this shit out for themselves. But that's basically in every religion, which is why every religion is basically horrible. Especially since conversion isn't about faith: 99% of the time, it's all about bringing more people in for the $$$$$$

[Calico]

willow said:

Golf is almost as boring as baseball.

Let's add a couple of your British sports too such as football (soccer) and cricquet. ;D

Congrats to Zach Johnson on winning the 2007 Masters. But I never thought I would watch a golf major that was more of a dog than last years U.S. Open. But this years Masters was of worse golf quality than last years U.S. Open and that's saying something.

P.S. - Put the guns away Hurley.

[sasha]

Are you kidding.

Last years open was absolutely amazing. That fat bastard Phil going down in flames. Cute Yoshi backing into the title.

[Calico]

sasha said:

Are you kidding.

Last years open was absolutely amazing. That fat bastard Phil going down in flames. Cute Yoshi backing into the title.

No I'm not kidding. Poor Phil. He still hasn't gotten over his losing the U.S. Open last year. I thought he was over it but his disastrous 2007 Masters makes me wonder about him.

But I'm am happy Morgan Pressel was the first LPGA teenager to win a major title when she recently won the ladies Masters the Kraft Nabisco championship. And she was the youngest ever at 18 to win a gold grand slam title. Well done. Pressel has been through alot early in life so I was happy to see her win big. I had expected Michelle Wie or Paula Creamer to to the first of the new generation to win an LPGA major. But Morgan beat them to it because unlike Wie and Creamer who have bigger golf games than Pressel, Morgan has it between the ears in ways that Wie and Creamer don't.

[janie]

thecat said:

Morgan has it between the ears in ways that Wie and Creamer don't.

I'm not sure we can really conclude that yet. Sitting in the clubhouse watching the lead scorer nervously fritter away a 3-stroke lead is a fairly stress-free way to win a major. Pressel deserved her win, and I'm happy for her, but it'll be fun to watch how it goes when the positions are reversed sometime.

[Calico]

You might be right Janie. Only time will tell how Morgan handles the pressure. But so far so good. And Pressel almost won the U.S. Open at age 16 only to be beaten by a birdie on the 72nd hole by Birdie Kim.

[janie]

Yes, it's that time again. And the suspense, oh the intolerable level of suspense! Men's golf is so very full of surprises these days. Will Tiger win by 10 strokes or by 20? The anxiety is unbearable!

[sasha]

Hey, this is a tennis board.

Where the same guy won every tournament he played for 3 years.

[janie]

But not RG. Tiger has no RG.

[sasha]

Golf should have different surfaces. That would be fun.

Well, there's different types of greens and grass, but it's not enough.

[janie]

That's a great idea! They should hold one Slam on a red clay course, one on cracked cement, and one on ice! They can still have one on the boring old grass-and-trees thing.

Playing in thunderstorms would be another way to spice things up. Be real men and dodge the lightning, guys!

[DBBN]

ABT!

[sasha]

It's impossible to hate on this final round since it's so boring.

Immelman is kinda cute, in a Federer-looking way.

[janie]

I was just glad he didn't choke!

[sasha]

He did choke. But everyone else sucked so bad that it wasn't possible to choke enough to lose.

[Calico]

Grand slam golf on sunday's seems to have gotten boring and mediocre in the last few years. I think the USGA makes the courses so hard that it hurts the quality of play. Especially on sundays when TV gets their biggest ratings.